Sleepless

So I think imma make a new account.
Yep.
Why?
I don't like this name. It popped into my head randomly and now I think it sounds emo, which I do not want to sound. Ok.
Lol.
I'll add you Ryan!!!

My weekend so far.

Yesterday went to the mall with Isabelle, AJ, and Alberto. Fun as hell. Like, indescribably fun. Omg.
We went to Toyr R Us n Barnes and Noble and Hot Topic, and then I got sprayed with like 78456 perfumes in Bath and Body works. Lol.

AND THEN

We got into Sweeney Todd even though we're all under age ^.~  So fun. Is it bad when doing mildly bad things gives you a good feeling? Like what's previously mentioned. Stuff that is like.... bad but not like... really bad. Cause it makes me feel good =] I like being mischeivous. Funfunfun.
But omg, that movie was the best. Mrs. Lovett is awesome. I loved it when she was thinking about like, about her and Sweeney Todd like... together... omg his face throughout the whole thing was PRICELESS. PRICELESS.
And we laughed at all the wrong parts. Like when the people got their throats slit... omg... it was hillarious though!!! And how their bodies bounced when they slid down the chair... omg. Lmao. WHAT?!?! It was funny. Like "Look, Bernard!!! Our baby can fly!!!" funny. *inside-ish joke... but still funny. You wouldn't get it unless you've read this one book*
OH... and then... fuck. I forgot. But the movie rocked.

AND THEN... I stayed up until like... 5am and woke up at 4pm and today I drew a character I'm proud of and aside from that have done basically nothing.

Haha.
"Look, Bernard!!! Our baby can fly!!!"

http://www.shouldyoubelaughingatthis.co.uk/index.html

I have been pondering lately. Much too much about this guy I like. Have liked. For a ridiculously long amount of time. 5 years, actually. Pathetic, yes, I know. And I have decided that I hate him. Okay, not like, really, but... I do.  Lol. It's really all quite pathetic...
Like...
I don't even know.
The only thing  I do know is that it's all very stupid and utterly hopeless that I like him...

Bleh, life is going.... well, it's going. Lol.
I'm going to be re-dying my hair again, same colors as last time-black is flattering to me, I think, and goes with everything, and blue... I didn't have my hair blue long enough to see how well I liked it. It faded in like, 3 days. Ugh. That, and it wasn't the exact shade I wanted; so, I found some that sounds better online, and it has the shade I want! Lol.
I really, really, REALLY want to transfer schools, like now; and it would be SO easy to, too. All my dad has to do is call my grandmother and work out my transportation, and get an out-of-district transfer from the school. Not that hard, nor that time-consuming. You know what, I'll just call my grandma and ask her to pick up the out-of-district transfer. Don't know why I didn't think of that before...
God, I'm starting to hate this place-it's gotten so far under my skin the very marrow of my bones is repulsed by it. So much that I would have my grandmother-someone who I usually greatly dislike and hate spending too much time around-drive me to a different school Every. Single. Day.
Ugh, and yesterday my friend said that I let the place get to me. No, I don't. Sorry for wanting the education I deserve, and not some small-town, drug-infested, Hicksville. Which is really what I called it, before I saw this thing that said Hicksville was also a place in New York; not sure if it's true or not... but where I like is literally Hicksville.
It's gotten really bad. I have been getting angry and sad a lot more lately because of it. It's like trapping an eagle inside a cage meant for a canary. I got so mad, the maddest I've ever been in a long time, that I went outside with a kitchen knife and started stabbing my porch. And sawing. I never knew kitchen knives could cut so well.
I want to transfer schools so bad that I don't care that I might not graduate when I'm supposed to because of credits not being able to transfer-I might not even graduate where I am now on time anyways, because this place drags me down into the innermost pits of hell, and I can't work here. If the grades I have now end up on my report card, I won't be able to graduate next year anyways. This year, at the beginning, they said that if I got one more F, I wouldn't graduate on time. I have 2 F's. I'd rather spend those years somewhere else rather than here, and have a chance of graduating than stay here and have no chance. Bleh.
And I really want to go see my mom. Mainly, I think , because I need a desperate break from this place. A BIG LONG BREAK. Good thing it's November; I always go and see her during Thanksgiving break. And this time, Jakki-Jakki might be able to come!!! I'm sooo happy about that. Some light in these dark and dreary days!

I'm getting my hair dyed on tuesday, and I wanted something a bit unique so one of the colors I picked was blue.
The problem with that is that I'd have to bleach (obviously) and then dye it, and the lady who's going to be doing my hair said that all of the brands of blue she used fade FAST. So... I'm thinking not.
So, I don't know how many people read this or if it's just Ryan, but whatever.
If you or any of your friends have dyed their hair blue, and it didn't fade fast, ask them if it was because they kept dying it or if it was the brand. If it was the brand... get the name of it and tell me. I need it. I wanted blue so badly...
But I don't know what color I'll choose instead of blue! =[
And I want my hair like, more layered. It already is layered but my top layer is so long it depresses me because my hair is like, just past shoulder-length and I don't consider that very long and rambling again. I'm stopping now.

I feel really guilty... and it's making my slightly depressed.
I have missed 4 days in the first 2 weeks of school. That is worse than I have ever done. And I have done pretty badly; I mean, I most certainly didn't miss the most days out of everyone, but I missed a LOT. Ughslfdhlskdfjhasdfh. Today I missed because I would have only gotten around 1 hour and 45 minutes of sleep; not exactly sure of that, but I know that it wasn't over 2 hours. I would have DIED. I don't get math when I am AWAKE. When I am awake, I can't understand the math class I am in. With one hour of sleep, I would have been maniacally twitching, my eyes blinking independently, and when I was asked a question, like, "What shape is this [motions towards a drawing of a triangle]?" I would have replied, "A dragon,". One of the days, yesterday, my dad kept me home. Yep. How? I do not have an alarm clock. Even if I did, I don't have an outlet near my bed, and we can't move it near one. So, my dad has to wake me up. He didn't, knowing that I needed to go to school, deciding to let me sleep because I was (and still am) sick, and I had a doc's appointment. One of the other two days I missed.... I didn't need to. I could have gone. But, whatever. All I can do now is stay healthy and go to school unless I physically CAN'T.
Maybe I am missing so much school now because I really want to move. I have to motivation to go to school; I have no reason.... nothing to go for...? I don't know. I should stop trying to psychoanalyze myself... but, ugh.

I detest it.
I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move. I want to move.
Yeah, I think that gets the point across.
...
As you can tell.... today wasn't one of my better days...
I just heard another tap at my window... ugh...

It's been a while since I've posted...
Got new hair, tis okay, starting school Tuesday... hell... can't sleep again. And I was sooo close to getting back on schedule.
Brother, I blame you.
Pluh...
Anyways, my new hair.
Dye'd it back to my natural color and got it layerd. Looks alright. Not as layer-y as I wanted though. Might fix that soon. Also, as freaking always, bangs are too short. Not like, "EUGH!!! YUCKYYYYY!!!" short, but like... ugh... short lol. I'm not freaking five, for the love of... Fanta. Yes, trying to come up with more unique... things... ugh too bleg to try to call them something... adjectives... whatever. Obviously I am failing miserably.
Anyways, school. All of my good classes are in the second semester. Ugh. Why the eff did I take Horticulture??? Ew. I already have my Science credit... what was I thinking? Maybe I  can get that changed... *crosses fingers*
So, good news. Someone is interested in buying our land (ha, they have no idea what they are getting themselves in to... if I didn't want to move so bad I might pity them). Dad set a price, Realtor-man thinks we can go higher. Him and dad are having a meeting tomorrow (wait... today...) and blah. I WANT TO MOVE. Seriously... I. HATE. IT. HERE.
More good news.... dad's getting a raise or something... there's something else where he gets more money for some odd reason or other, don't really know though.
My feet are falling asleep.

Me and my friend saw the movie the Saturday after it came out. It was grand. There were so many parts me and her started giggling about when no one else did! Lol, like Dudley, the wanna-be Brittish gangsta. Lmfao. Ugh and right when you get the first glimpse of Umbridge's room, with all of those kitten plates? We looked at eachother and started laughing our heads off. She is, sadly, a lot like my grandmother. I'm sure they would get along well. Then again, they also have differences. My grandmother isn't as drastic, but still worries about what the "important" (i.e., the (ex?) mayors wife, whom she has befriended) people in her life think of her, and agree with them readily to their faces, changing her opinions for them.
We did get into another fight. Because I had cramps, really bad, and had no medicine, so I canceled an appointment of sorts I had had with her. With one of the important people in her life. Oh, well. Now I am off to continue developing a story.

*In case you don't notice, I try to title my entries now... mainly because I look over my archives and the hoards of "untitled" or only dates irritates me greatly...*

Just a note. To myself, or whomever *another note is that the main reason I kept this is for my sanity. I like having a place that no one that I know of aside the friends I have chosen to inform of my livejournal reads this. It keeps me sane. Even if absolutely no one viewed this, I would continue writing; I like getting my thoughts down and, in some cases, organized and feeling like I am talking to someone. Or something o_O*.
I shall only become greatly serious about my writing whilst I am in college/out of highschool. In fact, I am considering taking a year or more break before college that will be dedicated solely to my artistic... abilities, writing included because it is most certainly an art. During this time, I shall take the advice of J.K.Rowling and write in cafe's. She pointed out many things that can be solved by doing so that I have problems with writing on my computer at home. My brother's music will disturb me, I am almost always sleepy and in a zombie-like state driven by only my, as I am told, strong will (wow... this sounds as if I am lying *I don't expect you to know what I mean by this until you read the next sentence!* What this means is that I am a procrastinator, and can be very lazy. To boot, I am an insomniac. Thus, I hardly ever have the energy to write; and when I do, it is in a different story that my first story, created when I was in middle school/junior high; grades 6-8. Meaning that I have many stories... oh my holy mother, 71 stories, not included ideas that I have not yet started. Most of these stories are no longer than five pages and far from finished. My longest story ever in draft version, STILL unfinished, is 87 college-ruled pages.
Now, back to J.K.Rowling's advice; of course, it is posted in her site, in the Extra's section, and further in the Miscellaneous, entitled "Places to Write" or something to that effect. When I do this, it will be of course with a laptop, as I prefer it over writing on paper. Despite how paranoid I am of the stories getting deleted, it is hard for me to write well on paper. With the computer, I can type almost fast enough to keep up with my thought process, and I find that I have much more of a stronger voice and better grammar (no, not spelling, and not because of the spellcheck feature of most... writing... software...-ness...) . Ack, my bedtime is in 7 minutes (6am!!!... yes, that is a bedtime. For me. Because I am odd like that) and I still am in search of a name for a character to another story idea of mine. This is the second day I have spent searching for a name for her. Never has a character's name taken me so long, and she's not even one of the main characters!!! So far. I don't think she will be, either, but both life and my mind are extremely unpredictable

I think that maybe, the reason movies like Braveheart and the like (basically, movies with one person standing up for what is right, with the possibility of forfeiting their own life) is because said person does something that the majority of us wouldn't have the courage to do.

I have just found a person who shares the same birthday as me!!! A celebrity, to boot!!! Well, not neccesarilly a celebrity... but Tite Kubo, the mangaka who wrote Bleach, shares the same birthday as me!!! June 26!!! Of course, the year is different, but this is exciting for me. So leave me alone.
Then again, I found it out on Wikipedia, so it might not be reliable. But whatever. I am happy =}

So...
Another person I am watching got their art stolen from their deviantArt account. Which is why I do not have one. I am just smart like that, and am patiently awaiting the time when I learn HTML and get Photoshop 7.0 or higher. And there is an HTML code to disable right-clicking, so most people wouldn't be able to steal it. And my dads got a damned good lawyer, so I am going to talk to him about copyrighting. So, pretty much, I'm set.
Am also looking into self-publishing... not from outfits like that lulu.com but ACTUALLY, technically self publishing. Anyways.

AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
I am so hypers I had cookie and jalapeno taquito from de freaking gods and I am happy and hyper and have had about 3 Vaults today and now I am addict!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
So yahs. Drew another piccy, wooness. Getting my $100 tomorrow FREAKING WOONESS!!! So yahs.

So, I've been drawing all day long!!!
Started four pictures, am only close to finishing two.
The ones I am close to finishing are faeries; after practically my first real source of inspiration since I was like, 8, Amy Brown.
They aren't really "fanart" of her pictures, cause none of them are really extremely similar to any of her pieces, but they do have slightly similar traits; pointed feet, extravagant wings, and the like.
The first one is a faerie sitting on a mushroom, dressed in an outfit that is hard for me to describe, but she has wolf ears and a wolf tail because she is basically like one of Amy Brown's faeries that are of a flower, and she is Aconitum Napellus, commonly known as Monkshood or Wolfsbane. There is, of course, a few plants of that surrounding her, and behind her is a field full of the purple blooms. The night is turning to dawn, and a full moon is setting in the sky. [Refs/inspiration: Naughty Fairy/Black Foxgloves]
The other one has a fairy crouching down and holding a dagger, with a coy, playful, and devious expression. The whites of her eyes are black, and she's got a really cute tail. For this one I did use a reference, Amy Browns piece Little Rose. The hairstyle I used for this one is similar to that of the one in Little Rose.
I never have drawn many faeries. So, I guess this is good for me, to try something new. The real reason I am doing this is because my aunt (the best artist I have ever seen!!! Seriously... she's amazing!) wants to teach me how to water color, and I instantly thought of Amy's work. So I sketched those pieces for me to water color later. The second one I described I plan on doing with tea, coffee, salt, and black, red, and orange colors. The first will obviously be purples and blues... (And I have found that water color is not currently my forte, or even close, so obviously I am not going to water color the original sketches. Those will be carefully inked).
I can still remember the first Amy Brown postcards I got; the first one was "Dark Side of the Moon", and the ones after were "Blue Lady" and "Winter Solstice", I forget in which order. I still have them, somewhere around here...
I have to say, my current favorite pieces of hers are Eclipse II, Silvane, and Sanctuary. I don't know why.
Oh, and the only real print of hers I own is Black Foxgloves. My moms best friend, Cindy Ray, got it for me for Christmas. I have to get a frame for it sometime!!!
Oh, I also have a poster, Little Red Mischief. I bought it for myself for my birthday, lol.
I also have a shirt... eh, I can't find it to tell you people which print.

(click the link below if this doesn't show...)

http://images.meez.com/user16/10/10/10/101010_10015598635.gif

Lmao. Sorry. This was entertaining, though.
It's supposed to look like a character from one of my stories.
Her name is Len aka Lenore, and she enjoys jalapeño cream cheese taquitos, slushies, rock music, and walks at insane hours of the night.
The only thing really missing is the fact that she has a trademark sweater, and one of her eyes is a golden brown.
They have an "animation" option for this (the one I ended up choosing was "air Guitar") and I seriously considered a dance called "thriller" (basically, it made her look like a zombie lmfao) or "coffin", where she was sitting in this coffin and looking around with her arms out with a stupid expression on her face. Lol.
Woo~! Three thirty am!!!
Aaaahahahahahaha I need sleep.

So... basically, I think that I am the only teenager I know who is afraid of "growing up" lol. Well, I'm not afraid about getting into my 20's, but 30's=yuck and anything older is like GAH!!!! I'm an old crone *mope*. So I dread it. And it's not really getting old... it's having like, the whole deteriorating body and everything and how some old peeps loose their memory and GOD I LIKE THE FEW MEMORIES THAT I HAVE and I am basically dying cause after this year starts I am going to be a junior and then a senior and then I will be in college and oh god... I'm getting old...
And I have only just turned 16...
I dread the people who are around me when I am turn 40.
So, in other news, I am trying to wait patiently for MAH DAMNED MONEY but obviously, I am not a very patient person, so it's slowly eating me away. I am bored and restless and want the money in my possession if only to do the whole Smeagle from LoTR "Precioussss..." thing and yeah.
Oh, and I want my drivers liscence. Yes, I know, inner voice; I should be studying were that true, but I don't feel like it at the moment. Lol. AAAAAAHINEEDCOFFE.
That chocolate bar  in the freezer is calling my name; I can faintly hear it... *[insert my name here....]*
AAAAAAAH!
Lol anyways, gute nacht. Or, technically, guten morgen.

My grandma freaked out on me yesterday. I got really mad. So, as a sort of therapy, I drew a really creepy picture. Like, really creepy. It's still not finished... I plan to color it in those high-quality markers of awesomeness...
Anyways, I think I'm going to the Renaissance Fair today.... but I am not sure... I do know that I am going into town to spend a small portion of the money currently coming to me or already here... whichever. I have $25, and am getting $100 from my grandma in Forks... and my grandma in Montana said something about $425???? Which is... wow. Lol anyways. Going to go work on my creepy picture some more.

(Damn!!! I should have done those demons dancing naked, as mentioned in one of my previous entries...)

So, I can't get into Richland because of my friend (very indirectly; that damned witch) so basically I hate him. But I passed my summer school with a full credit so I guess that's good. Anyways, getting a new bed today; have to put up with the evil woman of doom though so I suppose it's bitter-sweet... I have a bad feeling about this... but hey, new bed!!! Without springs poking me in mah arsey!